Addicted to You Read online

  Putting Tami’s blood on Ink wasn’t originally part of my plan. It was initially an accident.

  When I pulled in his yard, I panicked after seeing him face down in the snow. I thought maybe I’d drugged him to the point that he was dead. I freaked out, forgetting that my clothes were still soiled and that I hadn’t yet showered. When I helped him up, the blood smeared onto him.

  “You came back…” he had said, giving me a drunken, lopsided grin as I struggled to pull him up from the snow. He was still fairly warm, letting me know that he hadn’t been lying there too long.

  “Of course, I did,” I told him. “I’ll always come back to you. It’s like a poem I wrote for you one day. Do you want to hear it?”

  Nodding, he grinned harder and rose to his feet, leaning against me as I helped him in through the basement door. While we staggered through the snow, coupling our strengths together to overshadow our weaknesses, I recited a poem that I’d written for him.

  “Our love is right side up and as strong as a tree. Addicted to you, forever I’ll be. I have you and you have me. Forever, until eternity. I’ll always come back to you.”

  He was so heavy that it was all I could do to get him inside and, once he stumbled in and fell right into the chair at his desk, he passed out again. He was like dead weight and there was nothing I could do. I left him there.

  I started to pull off his clothes but then something occurred to me. That was the perfect opportunity for me to prove my loyalty. If I held onto everything I had to set up Kale, Ink would be the #1 suspect. He would be in a position where the entire world, himself included, thought that he had committed the terrible crime. Everyone would believe that he was guilty.

  Everyone except me. It was the ultimate show of loyalty.

  “I would never do anything to hurt Tamiyah,” I told him with tears running down my eyes. “We are a family. She’s happier than she’s ever been. Isn’t this what you wanted for her? Tami was a junkie. She didn’t even want to be her mother. But I do. I want to give her everything that no one ever gave me.”

  Anxious to feel his touch, I reached out for Ink. He stepped back and shook his head.

  “People change, Sage. No matter what, you don’t have the right to take a life.”

  My mouth almost dropped open at the double standard. The position he was taking was in direct contrast of the things I knew about him.

  “You’ve never told me all the details about your past life, but you said enough,” I began, pointing my finger at him. “No one can make a name for themselves in the streets without, at one point in time, taking a life. Isn’t that what you said? That’s how you earned respect, right?”

  I saw his pupils darken as he processed what I was saying.

  “That’s not the same thing.”

  “Yes, it is.” I lifted my chin in defiance. “And if you can do that for something like respect, then what’s wrong with doing it to protect your own child from being continuously hurt by a mother who will never properly love her?”

  Conflict and confusion passed through his eyes. I watched him as he ran through his thoughts and then I saw his gaze dropped to my stomach, where I was carrying what would be his first son and only biological child. Now was the time to weigh his options. He was hurt, angry, betrayed, and a lot of other things, but I was hoping he would get over it and realize that everything I did had been done out of love.

  “Did you kill her? Were you actually the one who took her life?”

  Raising his head, he looked me in the eyes and, for the first time since the day I had met him, I was able to read him clearly. He wanted me to lie. He couldn’t live with the truth. Truthfully, I couldn’t either because it was clear that Ink would never be happy with me if I told him that I was the one who killed Tami. Maybe that was how my father felt when he lied to me.

  “No,” I said, letting the words out along with a heavy breath. “I didn’t kill her, and I didn’t have anything to do with whoever did. I just strongly feel like it was for the best.”

  A long silence settled between us as he scrutinized every part of me, reading me like a book as he searched for the truth. Then, finally, he ran a hand over his face, shook his head, and sighed.

  “Okay.” He sniffed and nudged the tip of his nose with his finger. “I have no reason to think you’re not telling the truth. But I don’t want to ever talk about this shit again. I can’t do it any other way.”

  I blew out a breath of relief and felt fresh tears come to my eyes. Even while I was willing myself to stay calm and collected, some part of me thought that I had made a mistake and was going to lose out on yet another chance at true love.

  Taking slow and careful steps towards him, my heart swelled with joy when he didn’t move away. I wrapped my arms around him and hugged him tight, silently thanking God for small blessings when Ink returned my embrace.

  “I love you so much.” Sniffing, I wiped at the tears running down my face.

  “I love you, too,” he replied.

  Still in his arms and with my head on his chest, I frowned. I couldn’t count how many times Ink had told me that he loved me, but I did know that every time he had said it, I’d felt the truth of it in my soul. That time I didn’t.

  “I’m going to work. And... I’m going to take Tamiyah with me.”

  “Huh?” I pulled away and searched his face. “Why? She can stay here; I have the whole day planned.”

  Ink shook his head and, though he hadn’t shed a single tear, he looked a little red around his eyes.

  “You’ve been working really hard and I want to give you a break. Take some time to yourself to relax, take a bubble bath or some shit. Anything.”

  I lifted one brow. “And will you be back?”

  “Of course.” He kissed me on my forehead and nodded.

  Then he pursed his lips into some dull version of a smile and added, “I’ll always come back to you.”

  “Okay.” I ran my hand over my head and sucked in a breath before pushing it out in a whoosh of air. “Let me pack her a few things.”

  Bypassing him, I walked slowly to the stairs and headed up to Tamiyah’s room, mentally making a list of everything she would need throughout the day. It wasn’t until I was almost to the top that I looked down at Ink. He was sitting down in a chair with his head down and his face in his hands. It was a show of vulnerability and grief that he was allowing to come through because he didn’t know that I was watching.

  Will he ever forgive me?

  Only time would tell. It would be difficult for the next few weeks, maybe even a month, but once the baby came, our love would be renewed. Our child would make everything right. And once that time came where we were finally one again, completely in sync and just as in love as we had been before that day, I would never do anything to jeopardize our love again.

  I had to make sure he didn’t find out about the other thing I did.

  God, please. Please, don’t let him find out about Indie.

  Author’s Note

  Thank you for reading!

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  I truly hope that you enjoyed this novel. When coming up with the storyline, my intention was to challenge myself with a multi-layered character, but to also write the novel in a way that was unpredictable and would inspire discussion. I hope that I've been able to achieve that!

  As a romance author, I love happy endings (and I know readers of romance do as well), but the question is ... did this one really have a happy ending? Sage was able to get what she wanted (a family of her own), Tamiyah got what she needed (a loving mother who would do anything for her), and Ink wanted a loyal and devoted woman by his side... so does it matter how it was obtained?

  Even in the most cherished love stories, there are not so good parts that are ignored in order to celebrate the incredible love that was birthed through the tragic times. Do you think that Ink can overcome what Sage has done, in her deadly pursuit of happiness, and move on?

  Leave a review--I'm eager to k
now your thoughts!

  Make sure to visit me on www.porschasterling.com and join my mailing list to keep up with everything that I have going on. No matter what, I always have another book in the works and you don't want to miss it! Text PORSCHA to 25827 for notifications on new releases.

  Until we meet again, happy reading!

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  XOXO!

  Porscha Sterling